Just for Fun

At Bell Law Firm, we take our clients and their cases very seriously, but we try not to take ourselves too seriously.  I hope you enjoy our ever-changing collection of wit and witticisms.
 

Punny Stuff

  1. A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  2. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
  3. Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
  4. Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.
  5. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  6. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  7. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  8. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  9. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  10. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
  11. When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
  12. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
  13. What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)
  14. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  15. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
  16. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
  17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  18. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
  19. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
  20. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
  21. You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
  22. Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
  23. Every calendar’s days are numbered.
  24. A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
  25. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
  26. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
  27. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
  28. Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
  29. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
  30. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
  31. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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